Being at home where ever you are

AFter the initial thrill of a new country, you may be exposed to more stress as an expat, than your domestic counterparts. You may be worried your partner might not find work or can not get settled, you may be worried about building your local network of friends and support and about how to deal with the Dutch culture. This on top of the general work stress. If you recognise some of this, and already tried to get rid of this stress, then in a way you may be stuck because the way you deal with it now does not work for you. Then it is good to investigate how you do things. For example, you may be inclined to do your best, to be perfectionistic and/or have difficulty to say no. You can call this way of doing things 'patterns of behaviour', and those can be relaxed! I support you to discover who you are in a deeper level. To find out how to set your boundaries ('what do I not want?'), to set the agenda ('what do I want?') and to make a decision regarding your position  on issues ('what do I think of this'). This is possible if you learn to recognize your patterns, can relax them more and are given the opportunity to make other choices through more awareness. How wonderful is this freedom, where you are no longer run by your patterns! And this is possible with all patterns.

If you feel as an expat you are not treated the way you should, or notice that relationships with your boss or colleagues are difficult and you get irritated, frustrated or angry, then it may be that emotions get in the way.  Then Irritation or anger doesn't work effectively for you.

By restoring the effective functioning of such emotions, you become master of them in stead of them being to some extent master over you. If you restore the function you learn to 'read' the information that your emotion contains and also understand why a lot of energy comes up if you get triggered. By taking in the information embedded in the emotion, it becomes possible to respond based on this, which is generally very different to one's initial inclination. Where your current inclination doesn't work, such a response leads to better and deeper relationships with people who matter. Many coachees already called this 'life changing'! In addition, the way you deal with irritation or anger affects also positvely the relationships in your private life.

If you do the same work or similar as you did in  your home country as an expat, and you find you are not fulfilled. It may be that changing the country is not what makes you happy. If you are not sure you are doing the work that fulfils you: the question may pop up: 'is this really all there is?' You may not be dissatisfied, but somewhere there is a feeling that there is more. Not sure you are moving in the right direction. The good news is that you have come to the great question 'what is my life about?'. There are various proven methods to get clarity in yourself what you really  want to do. Using these you can build your own mission and vision for your life. Once you have your vision, you know where to go. You are no longer responding to whatever comes up, but you take leadership and determine the direction of your live. With a vision you are much more likely to live what you love than if you have no idea.  I can tell from the experience of many that this perspective changes your life.